Balancing Funny with Not-So-Funny (mourning a tree like the over sensitive person I am)

I shared these 1st two stories on my Facebook author page but I’m going to share ’em here for those who haven’t liked that page and read those stories. Walking The Dog I was traveling home from the Boston Post Road last week when I saw a young girl of 7 or 8 y/o walking […]

Untangling a Humdingerdoozer of a Holiday

(Yeah that’s me. I love my photoshop.) This is my father, seen below- in his prime. (he’s 83 now) My aunt used to think he looked like Robert Mitchum, and in some pictures he really does. My father was a great mechanic. (Still is. He owns a race car now and takes great pleasure sitting […]

on refrigerators, trees and dust

When the refrigerator door swings closed, it flattens a button located somewhere in the refrigerator’s interior. Once said button is depressed, a small light bulb winks out and the inside of the refrigerator is cast into darkness. Now that’s an indisputable fact. Some people cross-examine it nonetheless: “Fact or not, […]

Interpretting White Roses

salus in ardunis sancte et sapienter Alice In Wonderland Syndrome…(or as it’s also called: Todd’s Syndrome or Lillipution Hallucinations) sounds made-up but it’s a very real condition. People seem fine optically, but they have weird visual perceptions. They have what’s termed a “rare form of migraine” (migrainous ischemia?). All of their senses are strangely distorted. The […]

URNS Dilemma

URNS Check this out: These are on display in the corner of my cellar. The four of them, (two pets, two people) have been on display for some time now. I know it’s a bit of a macabre theme but go with it. Think of this as a pre-Halloween blog or something. It’s become a dilemma, […]

Between hell and hopelessness: Works In Progress

I don’t understand it. Am I taking the weight of the woeful world’s troubles on and internalizing it? Lately I’ve had trouble seeing the positive side of things. I won’t mention the bullying, cruelty and atrocious acts I’m referring to here, but you have access to media; you know what I mean. Even if I […]

Loss of A Dear Friend, Zsolt Megai

Please don’t be put off by the length of this. I’m not sure how long it will roll on; but I’ve lost a dear friend so here goes. It was October of 2007 when I first met Zsolt Megai. My husband had died in 2005 and The Ct […]

Augusten Burroughs and me and also Egyptians and Stuff

“Guess I have to kill you now”, I joked during our ‘bathroom time’. He rolled his eyes and had this stern face which was his mask, the ‘mask of ALS’ (Lou Gehirgs) as it was called in the newsletter we got delivered to the house. His facial muscles were so weak that he had a […]

She asked me, How does Aspergers feel? Read my book Under The Banana Moon or start by reading this blog

I noticed a message in my facebook inbox. A person affiliated with a selective mutism awareness group asked me a question that should’ve been easy for me to answer. She said, “What does it feel like to have aspergers?” I was surprised at how difficult it was for me to reply to her. After […]

Neologism, weight loss, rebuilding Lost Identity

I’ve become a shack again. My body is no longer my temple. Time to rebuild. I’ve done it before. I’ve done it many times in the course of this life. Redesigned my self… There’s a lot that goes into that: rational belief, toughness, emotional strength, endurance, resilience and the jump starter: desire. Example: I’ve been […]

Acts Of Kindness and the HEART

My grandmother died when I was about 13 years old. It’s the last thing I expected even though she was nearly 90. (Or was she in her 90s? Memory fades that detail…) To a child, death only happens to other people; not to people you know. It was a special relationship. I was mute most […]

Contemplation on Dead Greyhounds and Women’s Rights; Ultimately Life Lessons

Some people are surely meant to be in our lives, but not necessarily to be in them for a lifetime. I think of course of those people in my own life who came and went on in death before I would’ve liked. My spouse left three children whose ages were 23, 14 and 9. I […]

A Life Ends, A Life Goes On

GRIEVING IS NEVER OVER. I wrote this right after the first group of holidays ended; 7 mths. after his death. A mundane task like doing dishes…Something I’ve done thousands of time. Going on without him. One Task, Revisited Starlings and titlarks bob greetings to each other. Partake in barren spoils; Yammering at meager winter offerings […]

Wisteria, Blue Roses, Murals, and Human Diversity

Some years ago I was wondering whether or not I should be a tattoo artist. Sounds fulfilling and fun. But then I got to thinking, what about all the small talk involved and touching of other people? Not really my thing. I mean if it were possible to tell […]

Hoarding, Shifting Perspectives or “New Use For a Light Bulb Box”

This stock photo is one that reminds me of my childhood home. I remember when my pigtailed daughter was five, still in elementary school; the only time in her 18 years that she ever allowed long hair on her head… We would walk to the corner to wait for the bus and play ‘passing-the-time’ games […]

Being a positive deviant who steps around the burning goat poop

We have always lived in a world where the possibility exists that goat manure piles (of poop) can spontaneously combust. It happens, spreading fire and amusement and stench. I bring this up because I don’t fully understand the scientific aspects of spontaneous combustion, suffice to say heat and methane probably play a part but I […]

Chaos Spaghetti With A Side Dish of Despair

That which is the source of the sun and of every power in the cosmos, beyond which there is neither going nor coming, Is the Self. This Self is supreme! – Katha Upanishad Him: The sun’s so hot today. Me: I believe it’s entirely made up of fire. That’s probably why. It all sounds […]

Broken Peace(s) and Coping with Life When Vultures Are Circling Your House

Something I owe to the soil that grew- More to the life that fed- But most to Allah, who gave me two Separate sides to my head. I would go without shirts or shoes, Friends, tobacco, or bread Sooner than for an instant lose Either side of my head. –Rudyard Kipling (Above: A picture I […]

C’s Quest Toward Sophrosyne

Let me tell you a story about someone seeking happiness. We’ll call him C. “C” felt suicidal and he even concocted plans. He would slash his wrists and lay down in the tub so as not to create too much mess for whomever found him. C thought maybe pills would be less messy. Yeah, […]

A Dog smile, Eleanor, and Anxiety

Today it’s like my recharge light is blinking. I need to plug in somewhere and re-energize. Today I’m weary emotionally. Ever get weary of the whole wide world? Perhaps I have been weary a long time. It so happens we went to the airport to drop off a houseguest who stayed with […]

Oil Slick Harbingers and Colorblind Crooner

Years ago, before my husband’s diagnosis of ALS, there were subtle signs; harbingers if you will, that times were going to be changing. We were at a grocery store. I live close to the eastern coastline and department store parking lots are often filled with seagulls that scavenge for french fries. They’re drawn in by […]

Four legged love beast

A Geometric Memory From H’s Terminally Disabled Years

There is a lady in a purple geometric block print pantsuit, so like one my mother would pick out for special occasions. But this lady has short cropped dark hair, so like the smartly coiffed styles seen on Liza Minelli. (My mother is blonde.) She walks briskly down the corridor and can see into our […]