Neologism, weight loss, rebuilding Lost Identity

I’ve become a shack again. My body is no longer my temple.
Time to rebuild.
I’ve done it before. I’ve done it many times in the course of this life. Redesigned my self…
There’s a lot that goes into that: rational belief, toughness, emotional strength, endurance, resilience and the jump starter: desire.
Example: I’ve been wearing my hair in a pony tail since before my husband died. We’re talking eight years here. Honestly, my thick hair is thinning around the sides from friction alopecia. How does one begin reinventing an identity?
One step at a time.
I’ve got a hair appt. on my birthday Nov. 25th.
I can only accept not only the adversities I’ve been personally challenged with, but also make sense of them and EMERGE…
Into what?
A person who’s not only examining my unhealthy destructive lifestyle for the umpteenth time, but someone whose digging down deep (again) and redefining where my life path is going to lead me.
Easier said than done.
I need neologism (“new speech”) inside my head.
“The universe is always speaking to us…sending us little messages, causing coincidences and serendipities, reminding us to stop, to look around, to believe in something else, something more.” –
Nancy Thayer

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The universe has spoken.
My pants don’t fit.
My heart beats too fast.
I don’t recognize myself in the mirror.
Time to not only repaint the shack…it’s time to rebuild. From the ground up.
A lot of good things are happening: I had supported agent representation for my book:
I recently wrote a killer proposal for a book my friend and I have been working on for a year and we heard from a great publisher. That’s phenomenal!
I’m happy.
Send me positive vibes, prayers, thoughts.
“Working through” the legacies of trauma means addressing the challenge of healing. This is going to take more than spackle, which I now realize I’ve been using for years.
Call it “conscious scrutiny of the life’s purpose” or just call it a weight loss and healthy lifestyle plan.
It begins in the head.

“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, “I will try again tomorrow.” – Mary Anne Radmacher

This property is NOT foreclosed.

Squirrels have tails for balance. I’m pigeon toed. Severely so… If I was a squirrel I’d be dead now. But I’m not.
Humans can reflect and then plan accordingly right?
“Fall seven times, stand up eight.” – Chinese Proverb
That’s my story right there.
Where’s the lumber? Nails? Wait a minute. Planning is going to be key here. Time to draw up a good architectural draft first. Here goes.

4 thoughts on “Neologism, weight loss, rebuilding Lost Identity

  1. I don’t know what to say to encourage you. You seem to be very down to earth. t’s the small things that count in the end. Lots of small things that add up to a lot.
    I found your writing very inspiring and encouraging.


    1. I’m so glad, thanks. You said a mouthful: whether losing weight or just getting through each day, it’s easy to believe our lives are small but it IS the culmination of so many small things that makes it big.


  2. Good wishes for your new book, hope it goes well.

    Speaking of coincidences, I recently realized that I gained 20 lbs in the last 2 years. Possibly as a result of having my gall bladder removed 3 yrs ago, possibly as one of the many side-effects of taking Simvastatin (Zocor) for – I don’t know how long. I’m going to be taking “Keybiotics” to help lose weight. Google it, to learn about “healthy bacteria”. I was looking for something to help with my digestive problems because of lack of gall bladder.

    I’m starting a full-out WAR against the Veteran’s Administration Clinic. Already fired my “Doctor”, (actually only a Nurse Practitioner), because I learned that the FDA announced more than 2 yrs ago that NO ONE should be taking high-dose (80 mgs) of Simvastatin, as it can cause muscle toxicity, and damage the liver and kidneys. My legs have been feeling heavy and tired and painful for some time, and that may be the reason. And I’ve been taking Omeprazole (Prilosec), every day since I had the gall bladder out 3 yrs ago. I recently learned (by Google), that it isn’t supposed to be taken for more than 4 months, as it can cause osteoporosis! I am LIVID about this, because it’s for heartburn and stomach acid, and I’ve NEVER had those, just gas, the belching kind.

    I already chewed him out about the Simvastatin, and he changed it to Crestor, at 40 mgs. Going to see a new Doctor at the VA on Nov 6th, and I’m going to bring up the issue about the Prilosec. (I already quit taking that too.)

    But my war with them has only started. When I started going to the VA, in 2002, I told them about being Dxd as Asperger’s. I think I even gave them a copy of the Dx. I don’t know if they still have that, but in preparing for my “war”, I asked for my medical records, and found that they wrote it down as “childhood psychosis”!!! I got these records just the other day, and I’m so mad about that, it makes the other complaints pale in comparison. I’m going to have to bring them out of the ’60s in their understanding of autism and Asperger’s. They’re going to have to change that note in their records, or bloody Hell!



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